The Story of your Arms

Body Language: Part 2

I hope you enjoyed and are practising the first part and if you haven’t read it: Reading Eyes and the stories they tell.

I know this is a difficult art to master but like everything else, it’s about practice. You have to actively look at people to read their emotions and their verbal-bodily confluences. It takes a while before it becomes second nature and even I’m not there yet but by writing these, I hope I’m teaching myself as well. Something I do is be a people-watcher; not in a creepy stalker way but just sit down and conjure up the patience to watch people in their daily activities, maybe at the mall or in a waiting room. Seize the opportunities (instead of playing Temple Run on your phone)!

Warning: Never read a person solely on one gesture. There will always be multiple gestures signalling an emotion. Gestures, in this case, refer to all body language indicators.

Arm gestures are quite easy to pick up because people use them as barriers, both physically and emotionally and can indicate feelings of openness or hostility.

• Crossed arms: Defensive or reluctance as displayed by people reacting to authority and act as a separating barrier. Range of causes (which you can pick up using context and other gestures): animosity, boredom, fatigue. If you are giving a speech and your audience is displaying this behaviour, you have lost them; make them do something with their arms as opening it up will open up their minds and ears.
• Note: Can be a cause of feeling cold so be careful not to misread.
• Clenched fists: Clear sign of hostility, stubbornness and aggression. Often paired with crossed arms meaning lack of empathy.
• Upper-Arm grip: By gripping your own upper arm (can be done in front and behind body), you are effectively hugging yourself. It’s a self-soothing gesture and usually indicates insecurity. Can be seen regularly in a person lying.
• One arm across body gripping the other arm: Another form of self-hugging but usually used by women. Yes, this is the one women use to play the damsel-in-distress.
• One hand gripping the other wrist:  A signal of frustration and a person attempting self-control, either they want to say something or strike out at someone (other anger gestures would be seen: clenched fists, lip curl, eyes narrowed)
• Both arms behind body with clasped hands: A sign of confidence and authority used by policemen, armed forces, members of the Royal families, teachers etc.

 

• Elbow touching: Best flirting move used frequently by both genders and studies indicate that in western cultures, ‘touchers’ are more liked than ‘non-touchers’. But this touch is only extended to elbows as it is a safe zone, far away from any intimate parts of the body. Touching a stranger anywhere else may lead to different reactions. But be warned of cultural etiquettes: some Asian cultures frown upon any stranger touching them, especially if there is an age difference as well. Best to follow their lead in that case.

The next few gestures are all different but have the same meaning: nervousness and to protect themselves, their arms are used as a barrier.

• Handbag held in front of body (dominantly female)
• Holding papers across chest
• Adjusting cuff/tie/watch etc. (can be a sign of preening which is sometimes nervousness)
• Arms/Hands covering genital regions (dominantly male)
• Holding a drink in front of your body with both hands
• Holding a drink across your body with one hand while seated
• Making nervous gestures across body ie. Touching or scratching

Eyes are harder to control by the person but also harder to read. Arms, while easier to read are also easier to control to give the wrong impression. An experienced reader can tell because a person, even if they don’t cross their arms per say, will exhibit a movement that they suppress, micro-movements. An interesting thing to note is, sometimes forcing your arms to do something may cause a change in your attitude, such as if you’re feeling nervous and clasp your hands behind your back, it might increase your confidence. Or if you're listening to a speech or lecture in a class, uncross your arms, you'll get more out of it!


P.S. This is just arms; there are mouth, head, hands, leg gestures and positions in relation to others! I am very willing to write it up because I love this, really helps me learn it myself but please comment below if you are keen on a Body Language Series!