IIFA Dancing Stars Singapore

Hi all you beautiful people! This is actually me asking for a small favour that would only take a minute of your time! 

If you don't know me, I love to dance! It's my life's hobby and passion...I'm actually trained in Classical Indian Dance (Bharatanatyam) but have dabbled in Bollywood, Contemporary, Jazz, Hip Hop, Salsa and many others...
Video Link: http://youtu.be/a34aPuP8AB0

Please vote for me by clicking the *thumbs up* on the youtube video attached below (on the Youtube page)! This is an audition so I can perform at the IIFA awards in Singapore with Shahid Kapoor! IIFA is like the Bollywood and smaller equivalent of Academy Awards and he is like the Channing Tatum of Bollwood!

Shahid Kapoor in Chance pe Dance

I'm currently in 4th position and would really appreciate the help!


Edit: I reached 2nd position finally and was selected among the Top 5. It was a mixture of the votes and PrabhuDeva's selection so I was extremely proud of myself. I did the final audition and then didn't make it any further.Thank you to all those who have supported me.

Video Link: http://youtu.be/a34aPuP8AB0

The Story of your Arms

Body Language: Part 2

I hope you enjoyed and are practising the first part and if you haven’t read it: Reading Eyes and the stories they tell.

I know this is a difficult art to master but like everything else, it’s about practice. You have to actively look at people to read their emotions and their verbal-bodily confluences. It takes a while before it becomes second nature and even I’m not there yet but by writing these, I hope I’m teaching myself as well. Something I do is be a people-watcher; not in a creepy stalker way but just sit down and conjure up the patience to watch people in their daily activities, maybe at the mall or in a waiting room. Seize the opportunities (instead of playing Temple Run on your phone)!

Warning: Never read a person solely on one gesture. There will always be multiple gestures signalling an emotion. Gestures, in this case, refer to all body language indicators.

Arm gestures are quite easy to pick up because people use them as barriers, both physically and emotionally and can indicate feelings of openness or hostility.

• Crossed arms: Defensive or reluctance as displayed by people reacting to authority and act as a separating barrier. Range of causes (which you can pick up using context and other gestures): animosity, boredom, fatigue. If you are giving a speech and your audience is displaying this behaviour, you have lost them; make them do something with their arms as opening it up will open up their minds and ears.
• Note: Can be a cause of feeling cold so be careful not to misread.
• Clenched fists: Clear sign of hostility, stubbornness and aggression. Often paired with crossed arms meaning lack of empathy.
• Upper-Arm grip: By gripping your own upper arm (can be done in front and behind body), you are effectively hugging yourself. It’s a self-soothing gesture and usually indicates insecurity. Can be seen regularly in a person lying.
• One arm across body gripping the other arm: Another form of self-hugging but usually used by women. Yes, this is the one women use to play the damsel-in-distress.
• One hand gripping the other wrist:  A signal of frustration and a person attempting self-control, either they want to say something or strike out at someone (other anger gestures would be seen: clenched fists, lip curl, eyes narrowed)
• Both arms behind body with clasped hands: A sign of confidence and authority used by policemen, armed forces, members of the Royal families, teachers etc.

 

• Elbow touching: Best flirting move used frequently by both genders and studies indicate that in western cultures, ‘touchers’ are more liked than ‘non-touchers’. But this touch is only extended to elbows as it is a safe zone, far away from any intimate parts of the body. Touching a stranger anywhere else may lead to different reactions. But be warned of cultural etiquettes: some Asian cultures frown upon any stranger touching them, especially if there is an age difference as well. Best to follow their lead in that case.

The next few gestures are all different but have the same meaning: nervousness and to protect themselves, their arms are used as a barrier.

• Handbag held in front of body (dominantly female)
• Holding papers across chest
• Adjusting cuff/tie/watch etc. (can be a sign of preening which is sometimes nervousness)
• Arms/Hands covering genital regions (dominantly male)
• Holding a drink in front of your body with both hands
• Holding a drink across your body with one hand while seated
• Making nervous gestures across body ie. Touching or scratching

Eyes are harder to control by the person but also harder to read. Arms, while easier to read are also easier to control to give the wrong impression. An experienced reader can tell because a person, even if they don’t cross their arms per say, will exhibit a movement that they suppress, micro-movements. An interesting thing to note is, sometimes forcing your arms to do something may cause a change in your attitude, such as if you’re feeling nervous and clasp your hands behind your back, it might increase your confidence. Or if you're listening to a speech or lecture in a class, uncross your arms, you'll get more out of it!


P.S. This is just arms; there are mouth, head, hands, leg gestures and positions in relation to others! I am very willing to write it up because I love this, really helps me learn it myself but please comment below if you are keen on a Body Language Series!

Truth Will Prevail -- Female Infanticide in India

Just watched Aamir Khan’s much awaited Satyamev Jayate (Truth will Prevail) --Video is below --. I’ve been a fan of his work (not just his acting) but his philanthropy for awhile now and am immensely impressed. This man has influence and never abuses it. His efforts are placed in his work. His movies always have beautiful messages while being commercially accessible to the laymen (Watch: 3 Idiots or Taare Zameen Par)

I must mention something that this reminds me of. I’m not really religious but I have read parts of the Gita and I subscribe to its philosophies. If you are looking towards self-improvement, give it a shot. It is, as many say Hinduism is, a way of life. It says that we should do our karma (work/duty) and not think about results as they will come. It’s taking the Secret’s idea a step further, instead of just thinking about your dreams and desires, take action upon them and the rest will follow. Aamir Khan seems to (from what the public can see) follow this principle. He put his heart and soul into his movies and philanthropic ambitions.

Anyways, back to the show. I shall the list the reasons why I loved his depiction of female foeticide. This is an extremely sensitive topic and while most people vaguely know of its existence, very few are aware of the facts. I have done a project on it, when I was 16 but have given it little thought since.

• The show’s format is neither talkshow, nor documentary, nor preachy. It’s simply a man talking to a studio audience with the help of experts in the field who help to spread the knowledge about the issue being tackled.

• Well researched case studies with people from every angle to support the victims such as: 
• Journalists who underwent a sting operation to hospitals around the country to uncover the truth 7 years ago, found over 100 offending doctors, all of whom are still practicing.
• Aam janta (mango people/laymen) who are asked where female infanticide is taking place. All answers were along the lines of illiterate, uneducated, lower-class people living in villages. Surprisingly, this is not true.
• Doctor who explains the cause of rise of female infanticide, discussing the technological advances from 1970s and a Government ploy to decrease population in a misled manner that spiralled out of control.
• Lawyer who discusses the Judge’s reaction to a mother-in-law who terminated her daughter-in-law’s pregnancy and trust me, it’s shocking. I shudder just thinking about who is running the judiciary system!
• Social worker discusses the results of this discrimination in the last 40-or-so years with a huge difference in the number of boys and girls.
• No dramatic music while the camera shows the people in the audience or even Aamir tearing up. No distracting camera work. The entire focus is on the content and the message of the show.
• Aamir Khan is not pointing blame or encouraging punishment (while it is one of his goals to circumvent courtroom politics and speed up the hearings of the doctors who were caught by the journalists). He is not asking for justice in the form of revenge but justice in the form of prevention or change.
• However, his main goal is asking the viewers across India to look within ourselves and change our thinking. With a change in thought, comes a change in feeling, leading to a change in attitude, which becomes a change in action, with which comes a change in behaviour, which causes change in habit which causes change in society.

I’m more than willing to help this endeavour. Not only is it educating the public but it is bringing awareness to an issue that is usually taboo because it deals with the cultural attitudes towards female children. The main attitude that needs changing here is that: Boys will be independent breadwinners while girls are dependent.

If you don’t have the time to watch an hour long show or you don’t understand Hindi and don't like reading English subs: This Summary is ‘ok’, definitely doesn’t have the whole story but captures the plot essence.

HomePage: http://www.satyamevjayate.in/issue01/

Quick Ways to tell what Someone is Thinking

I have always been interested in reading body language, ever since I learnt that it counts for 70% of all communication, regardless of whether we pick up the signals or not. One of the first non-fiction books I bought was a body language book by Barbara and Allan Pease (They are experts in the field but their explanations tend to focus on the evolutionary reasons that people act the way they do.) I devoured it and since then, I’ve been obsessed.

Recently, I started watching a television show, ‘Lie to Me’ where the main character owns a company that specialises in reading body language and picking out deception and they are often hired by the police or other businesses where they suspect someone is not being completely honest. It’s amazing how hard it is to be a great liar, and relatively easy to catch someone when you know what to look for. Definitely not an easy skill to pick up (unless you are a naturally intuitive person) but can be learnt. I don’t presume to be an expert but over my last 7-8 years of obsession, I’ve become a bit of a people reader. I don’t need to explain how this information can come in handy but trust me when I say, it becomes second nature to pick up liars, spot a person’s true motives, close business deals and sort out personal relationship problems.

Easy Ways to See How a Person Processes Information with just his/her EYE MOVEMENT

~ From the Observer’s Perspective ~ This is really important especially for anyone who has studied anatomy, you get used to saying it from the other perspective, me included!

RIGHT

Up-right:            visually remembered images

Straight-right:    auditory remembered sounds or words

Down-right:       auditory sounds or words (often what is called an "inner dialogue")

LEFT

Up-left:              visually constructing [new] images

Straight-left:      auditory constructed [new] sounds or words

Down-left:         kinesthetic feelings (which can include smell or taste)

There is one more type of movement, or rather, non-movement. You may ask someone a question and he will look straight ahead with no movement and with eyes glazed and unfocused. This means that he is visually accessing information.

How does this information translate into lie spotting?

On a general note, looking left when talking reveals a lie because they are constructing a memory rather than remembering one.

Also, there’s a myth that people don’t maintain eye contact when lying, by averting their gaze suddenly. Unfortunately, we have been raised to think this is the case so we maintain stronger unblinking eye contact while lying, to the point where it seems unnatural. It’s hard to differentiate this from a person who just uses more eye contact than others but it’s important to compare it to the individual’s baseline by asking them standard questions. “Hi, how are you doing?” is an example; a person is usually programmed to answer something along these lines, “Fine thanks, how about you?” So even if they are lying, there is no tell because people have practised that over and over on a daily basis.

Word of Caution: This is probably reversed in left-handed people. And a good liar will be able to control their eye movement, usually by practice. But no one is perfect so if you’re good at spotting them, you could catch them with another movement that gives them away.

I've got a few more things to say about this, the rest of the body and the voice, so will write them up at some point in the future, if you're keen, let me know!

Troubled and Disturbed Youth

The Strait Times, Mind and Body, written by Lea Wee about Young and Disturbed

‘Young people in Singapore aged 18-29 are at a higher risk of having mental problems than older people, a study has found. 1 in 14 young people has major depressive disorder, as opposed to 1 in 19 for those aged 30 and above.’

The article then goes on to explain the symptoms of the illness and what are the steps that you should take when you feel that you or someone close to you is depressed (Let me save you the trouble and give you the answer: seek professional opinion.)

However, this got me thinking about what the possible causes for depression is and why has its incidence increased at this rate. Up to 20% of people experience some of its symptoms during a point in their life. Ten times more people suffer from major depression than they did in 1945 and that is not a result of chemical imbalance as human genes do not change that fast! It is estimated to be the 2^nd most disabling condition (after heart disease) by 2020 causing 80% of suicides in the world.

Why this increase?

Some of the simplest reasons are ones you may have read before but to be thorough in the subject matter, I shall do a list (because you know how much I love those!) – You are more than welcome to add your own reasons to the list by commenting below and I shall add those in later –

1. Depression is diagnosed more often because more people (medical professionals and laymen) are aware of the illness, recognise the symptoms in themselves or loved ones and get themselves checked out.
2. Social stigma is declining (not gone, but decreasing). This is especially true in Asian countries where the school of thought was depression was just a state of mind, which you could motivate yourself out of.
3. More reasons for young adults to stress. 
• Think about it, they undergo the most change during that phase in life, where they have to learn to be independent from their family, start new relationships, find a job and become financially and socially stable and settled. This list of changes was much shorter a while ago. Short or long term relationships did not exist and marriage was arranged by your family. Jobs were acquired through apprenticeships. Independence from the family was not a huge issue as travel was not a major factor and joint families were relatively common.
• While this may be a leading cause in younger cases of depression, broken homes and unstable family situations might lead to anger, resentment and self-esteem issues, all of which lead to depression.
• Youths are more ambitious to further their career and to earn more money, due to material desires and become successful.
• Young adults are presented with far more choices these days and while we are under the impression that variety is the spice of life, human mind is not capable of being stretched that far. People used to become apprentices in their villages, follow in their family business or choose from business, engineering or medicine. We are spoilt for choice and while the choices themselves don’t lead to depression, they cause confusion. Some of the adults oscillate from one interest to another, leading to minimum success in any of them and that MAY lead to depression. My father always used to quote an old adage: Jack of all trades but Master of none.
• Economic crisis affecting their abilities to get the jobs they want, which leads to difficulties in paying off loans which are higher as education has gotten more expensive. Fewer jobs also suggest higher competition.
• All of the above may lead to failure and some people can’t handle failure by themselves (for the reasons below):
• They may have never experienced it.
• Have the misconception that failures are bad and society will look down on you.
• A lack of family support system
• Or a family that is also supportive of success rather than failure (basically, every depiction of a stereotypical Asian parent)
4. Youths, these days, are having a cultural identity crisis:
• Exposure to global cultures leads to a modern mentality which clashes with the older generation’s cultural perspective regarding education, jobs, stability in life, relationships, all of which come under the over-arching theme of managing family expectations but still being true to yourself.
  -- Immediate Society vs. Global pressure --
• I’m sure many 2^nd generation young adults have had this argument at home: “If your cousin (or anyone in your age group) back home (original country of origin) can agree to this, why can’t you?” (This being all the topics listed in the above point.) A possible reason is that this cousin or relative back home doesn’t have that same exposure (which some people actively seek and some are very laid-back and can’t be bothered to) and thus, is completely influenced by his parents/peers who are all of the same mindset. This may be useful for reducing mental stress and likelihood of stress.
5. These days we are much more 'self-focused', as opposed to traditional societies dating back to the hunting-gathering days to Amish society now. The idea of considering the wider community to be more important than the self is almost impossible to understand for most people, but necessary human emotional and physical needs to fulfil.

This is just a short analysis as to why I think the incidence of depression has increased in at least 65 years. I’m sure I’ve missed some reasons but also some of which fit under these umbrella reasons but haven’t been explored fully. Please comment below if you have something to add. Would love to hear what the readers think!