Crazy Celebrity Diets

Now I’m not suggesting that I haven’t tried one of these and even now as I’m doing the research, I’m curious about some of these… (oh, the dreaded word!) diets. Anyone who has known me for a good amount of time knows that, as a total foodie, I’m opposed to the concept of dieting. But here I am, talking about this. When I started writing my blog, I promised that I won’t be self-obsessed but I also told myself that I will write about things I know (Because well, it’s hard to write about things you don’t. Can you imagine what a blogpost about weightlifting by me will be like? So urm,  you like urm, lift stuff…)

So what do I know about crazy diets? Well, when I moved away from home 2 years ago, I had a moment of realisation (well, several) that I was on my way to becoming obese. Living in a different country, for the first time away from my mother’d delicious home-cooked meals, I had many choices that I could make: ready made sodium-packed preservatives-filled junk that tastes pretty good or tasteless bland food served in the cafeteria. Guess what option I chose? Neither. I went for the option of starving myself. And you know what? It worked. It also had some side effects of hair-loss and fainting spells (anywhere and anytime, and I mean, anywhere and anytime). This had a culminating effect of me losing 25% of my original body weight in about 3 months, 20kg.

I also had another moment of realisation that as easy as it was to stop eating (think about the time you save on cooking!), this is not the way to live. Food is too amazing to give up.

Crazy Celebrity Fad Diets

Acai Berries

The world hangs on to Oprah’s every word and when she once attributed her weight-loss (again!) to acai berries’ antioxidant properties with Dr Oz on her show, she got sued! (Well, what else do Americans know how to do? If my problems aren’t solved by you, you are wrong and I should get some money out of it!) Bottom line: It’s just a berry. Don’t depend on it.

Lemon Aid

A really scary, terrifying and dangerous diet: Beyonce reportedly dropped 20lb in 2 weeks by consuming nothing but homemade lemonade, maple syrup, water and cayenne pepper. I can’t imagine not consuming any solid foods for so long. Probably a good way to lose weight before an important event but be prepared to gain it all back!

Raw Foods Diet

When I first heard this one, I thought what’s wrong with raw vegetables and fruits? The enzymes and nutrients that are usually lost by cooking will be absorbed by the body and that is true (with some exceptions!) Demi Moore popularised this diet but probably took it a step too far by also adding raw meat. This can be connected to nausea, kidney and liver problems and even eye infections! Disgusting.

Facial Analysis Diet

Kate Winslet swears that this is how she lost her baby weight. A facial analyst read her skin, hair and eye texture (whatever that is) and recommended a special diet. Seriously? How can people fall for this stuff?

Baby Food Diet

Yes, they are small, cute and come in small portions and snackable sizes but they are for babies. Which we are not. And neither is Reese Witherspoon. You can’t maintain a healthy lifestyle with just 600 calories a day.

Cabbage Soup Diet

All you allowed is as much cabbage soup as you like… Poor Sarah Michelle Gellar. Not even people who like onions, tomatoes and cabbage can sustain this. Apparently it’s a quick weightloss technique and you lose weight in less than a week. But you put it all back on. And more.

Sundowner Diet

You know, I’m not convinced about this one…sounds like the old-wives tale about not eating after 6pm. No evidence that high-calorie foods get stored up as fat in the evening. What we can say is you shouldn’t go to bed right after dinner so I guess by not eating after sundown, there’s no chance of that ever happening?

Grapefruit Diet

Grapefruits have fat-burning properties and this diet requires you eat half before each meal. Probably to fill you up on all the water in the fruit! Each meal is also extremely tiny (about 250calories), adding to a grand total of 800 calories a day. That is called starvation, Kylie Minogue.

The Bird Diet

No, you don’t eat birds but you eat LIKE a bird. Victoria Beckham follows it and boy, is she thin but listen to this: It’s a diet of soya beans, strawberries, lettuce and 2 pints of algae and seaweed shake everyday. Not very posh at all, I must say.

I could compare that to malnourished Ethiopian childrens' pictures in NatGeo!

7 Day Colour Diet

Christina Aguilera discriminates against her food. This diet follows a colour/texture pattern where groups are made of kinds of food, one type per day per week. Sounds like a 6 year old child, or OCD.

Cookie Diet

Who thought up this one? Sesame Street? Apparently, you eat 2 healthy meals a day and replace one meal with 2 cookies, consuming a total of less than 800 calories a day (What kind of cookies are these? If each one is not 150 calories, then it’s not a real cookie…) Kim Kardashian has tried this diet…she’s fit but her ass is still huge.

Ice cube diet

Renee Zellwegger seems to ride the weight roller coaster and one of her craziest ones was this. She ate low carb meals and snacked on ice cubes through the day. What’s wrong with drinking water? Too normal for you?

Not exactly celebrities but crazy enough to be on the list!

The Drinking Man’s Diet

In 1964, Robert Cameron published a book with this diet which quickly became a best seller. The diet advises a diet that consists of gin and vodka (low carb beverages). Inspired by England’s William the Conqueror in 1087 who grew too large to ride his horse started a diet where he substituted food for alcohol in a desperate attempt to lose weight. Apparently this worked since he got on the horse again (but eventually died from falling off of it)! I think it’s safe to say that anything beyond the odd glass of wine should not be on the everyday menu…

Chew, chew, chew…SPIT!

In the early 1900s, art dealer Horace Fletcher discovered a new weight loss technique where you were allowed to chew your food – 32 times, one for each tooth – but then would proceed to spit it out. His theory was that by only chewing your food in this fashion, your body would absorb all the necessary nutrients and you would be able to enjoy the taste of food without any risk of weight gain. Of course, we now know that the body doesn’t absorb nearly enough food or nutrients through chewing (mainly the lack of fibre). Yes, you can lose weight, but generally due to malnourishment.

The Tapeworm Diet

What a wonderful diet where you can eat all you want but remain thin! All you have to do is swallow a worm-laced pill which will then feed itself on your food (inside you!) Besides the ewww factor, there’s a huge danger the worm can lay eggs inside nervous tissue (although how it can fertilise them, I’m not sure…I’m no entomologist but usually you need two to tango or else it’s mitosis.) These eggs can then cause seizures, dementia and meningitis…There are still several internet sites that allow you to purchase these illegally and how to infect yourself with a tapeworm. Eww. Just. Eww.

Just to make it extra-gross :)

P.S. Sorry about some of the gross-ness...Here's a cutesy video to make up for it!