English Proficiency Test Rant

A few weeks ago, I was trying to sort out my student visa after getting accepted into a university in another country. It was like Déjà Vu since I had done most of the same things 3 years ago when I went to UK; except I’ll admit that although I did the research about universities and courses back then, my Dad did the rest. The cost estimates, visa processes, paperwork…all that jazz. Now that I’m 21, obviously I did these things on my own and I don’t resent the responsibility but like many people, I appreciate the effort it takes and can’t imagine how much harder and selfless it must be to do it for someone else (I guess parenthood is mainly about being selfless but that’s not the point).

1. 
   
   This really long-winded introduction is to get me to the point of the English Proficiency tests that both universities and embassies require. I can understand why a university wants a student to be proficient in English before they accept them to study in their classes where the medium of instruction is English.
   
   
   As a side note, I consider English my first language. Oriya is my mother tongue (quite literally, as it is the language my parents speak in) but even at home, we speak of mixture of English, Oriya, Hindi and Bahasa Indonesia (My sister and I also speak in Spanish because it’s easy to hide things from the folks that way.) I feel most comfortable in English and to have to take an English test as a FOREIGN language is very offensive. The SATs, on the other hand, were challenging and in hindsight, more enjoyable.
   
   
   However, once accepted, the embassies require you show them the same thing to grant you a student visa. Let me be honest here, I did the TOEFL in 2008, so that’s 3 and a half years ago and the TOEFL is only valid for two years. Because obviously everyone forgets how to communicate in a language after two years; during which time, they were attending university in the place that English originated from: England. I have high SAT scores in the Reading and Essay section. I have been studying in English from the time I was 3, so that’s 18 years but that was in Singapore and Jakarta (where I attended an American International School) instead of Canada, UK, Australia or USA. It’s amazing the amount of restrictions an embassy will place on you just to make you pay $250 to take a test that insults your intelligence, wastes 5 hours of your time, all spent in vain for a piece of paper that is only valid for 2 years. I don’t understand how someone’s English can deteriorate in two years (from a near perfect score, I might add) to the point that they are dumb enough to not be allowed into your country? By the way, I’m going to your country to study, with no guarantees of a skilled job in the future and paying international fees which are 3-4 times that of local students. If that isn’t a risky investment, I don’t know what is.
   
   
   Of course I wasn’t annoyed that I had to take an exam the first time I took it; it’s one of the most effective ways to gauge someone’s skills. However, for the reason that they have given me: validity…I am fuming. Their expensive tests are obviously not perfect, which testing system is? Anyone who has been to university has met those belligerent villagers from small towns who have somehow received entry into the country with the language skills of a monkey. I’m not referring to accents but to the type of people who legitimately don’t understand when a lecturer is speaking to the class, those who take notes on Human Anatomy in their mother tongue. How do you translate hypothalamus or coccyx? It’s ridiculous. I’m not denying that there are certain things you might understand better in your own language but since you will take your final exam in English, I suggest you practice throughout the year.
   
   
   If they want to check on my English, I besiege them, read my blog. I assure you, not only will you learn something but you will be more than pleased with my standard of English. If that is still not enough and you think I might have a scribe hidden somewhere, interview me. I swear, if you are not impressed with my diction, pronunciation and command of the English language within 3 minutes, I will take every bloody test you throw at me.

   
   

   Update: Finally did the TOEFL and Got a 118 out of 120. Better than my scores 3 years ago (116) so must've learnt something from the English and my blog-writing.

   
   

   And to clarify, this is about why it is required from someone with my language background; it's a complete insult to have to take a test that measures the skills of English as a foreign language, when it's my first language. It's about the US$500 and my 8h spent in the testing room. If time and money isn't valuable, what is (in this context)?