Ok, this is a deviation from my usual posts about the good of the world and good habits that people should have and for many, would be considered a very silly thing that really doesn’t deserve this much thought. But…after it came up during a conversation with my sister, I went as far as to Google it to see what other people thought about this (although that’s not saying a lot, since I google everything!).
What is this topic? To wear or not to wear…a bikini? Sorry, this is a woman-oriented post but I’ll be glad to hear a man’s opinion on this as well.
As an Indian who’s never lived in India but brought up by very cultural parents, I like to think that I’m an amalgamation of the best of the both worlds, traditional enough where I need to be yet modern enough in the right situations. But this confuses me.
I’m definitely NEVER going to wear a bikini in India ever (at least in present circumstances). I’m barely allowed to wear a little cleavage-baring dress there (leGasp! Just in case some future proposal is hindered?) I hate to say this but Indians are quite judgemental in nature, about bodies (I was once told by a random stranger that I need to lose weight), about a person’s character (Yes, they would judge a girl’s character by what she was wearing so bikini means…Slut alert!). Sorry, this rant basically concludes with me saying that India’s not really the right place for a bikini (or even a one-piece sometimes, but there are places for that…)
However, even if I were to wear one in UK, Singapore and all the other modern countries and beaches I’ve been to, I’m not sure I can. Like most women, I’m body conscious and a bikini just feels like a lot on display. Everyone would say, don’t worry, wear what you feel comfortable with. But at the same time, I know that I'm sometimes thinking about the woman whose love handles are so huge you can't actually see the bikini, "Well, that's a bit overconfident, innit?" But the thing is, I’m only young once and now that I’m an average size (rather than the obese I used to be), now is the time to try one on.
Yet, when my sister announced over Skype that we are going to be taking a family vacation on a cruise in January with some other families, my first thought was, I’m gonna have to wear a swimsuit infront of people who are not related to me. Before you interject, “But Shrusti, you must’ve worn a swimsuit infront of other people before!” Since I’ve been a teenager, I’ve only worn swimsuits (without tshirts or shorts covering me) with really good friends and mostly girls, due to my body insecurities. I hate that when I said this to my sister, her reply was “You know what’s funny? That was the first thought in my head too!” And that sucks – Is it because we were told that bikinis (and swimsuits in general) are culturally taboo or that the media stuffs images of celebrities with amazing bikini-bods or that it’s just a girl’s body image problem?
Well, I’m going to take a stand. I shall buy my first ever bikini and wear it to a beach (when I’m not with family) and not care who sees me. Because well, I may not be perfect but I’m gonna be confident (and hopefully that’ll cover up the imperfections).
P.S. I understand that this is generally a summer problem and I’m living in the northern hemi where it’s currently winter but since I’m going back to the tropics where it’s a constant problem, it’ll always be on my mind.
Author's edit:
I applaud any other woman who has the confidence to wear a bikini. I do, whether she is Indian or otherwise. That's exactly my point, that the culture or geography has nothing to do with what you are comfortable in. And being an Indian, I think the freedom of speech allows to make comment and generalisations (which obviously doesn't apply to everybody). If we completely stopped thinking about what the world thinks, then society as we know it, will cease to exist. If we wish to coexist with as many people as possible, it's human nature to wish to please as many as possible. Rubbing people the wrong way culturally is never smart but a recent post about Slutwalks in India has given me much more confidence that attitudes in India are changing. Also some things in the comments annoyed me, but others I do agree with. It might just be my own perception of others' attitudes that is giving me this hang up. You know what? The only way to test the theory is wear one and see.
Author's edit:
I applaud any other woman who has the confidence to wear a bikini. I do, whether she is Indian or otherwise. That's exactly my point, that the culture or geography has nothing to do with what you are comfortable in. And being an Indian, I think the freedom of speech allows to make comment and generalisations (which obviously doesn't apply to everybody). If we completely stopped thinking about what the world thinks, then society as we know it, will cease to exist. If we wish to coexist with as many people as possible, it's human nature to wish to please as many as possible. Rubbing people the wrong way culturally is never smart but a recent post about Slutwalks in India has given me much more confidence that attitudes in India are changing. Also some things in the comments annoyed me, but others I do agree with. It might just be my own perception of others' attitudes that is giving me this hang up. You know what? The only way to test the theory is wear one and see.
On a totally different note, I read this in the news recently and it scared the BEEP out of me!
Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future
Oh and a funny picture just cuz...
i saw a 60+ year old, large-as-hell woman wearing a bikini in Goa. And i applaud her, i truly do. I bet there were a lot of cheap men cracking jokes about cellulite, rolls of body fat, and how disgusting she looks. But she wore it, because she was at a beach and that's a place where u wear a bikini and get into the sea. You have a good time for yourself, not anybody else.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, it's quite tragic that you seem to have all these "i won't ever wear a bikini in India" limitations...my girlfriend's Indian and she was flaunting one for the past 5 days. The ones who stared at her, are the same ones who'll stare at a cows udders if given the chance. Get out of your shell, and put one on. The bikini is for you. Not your mom, dad, extended family or their views of respectable and not. Frankly, you're only adding to the "indian problem" you seem to be so uncomfortable about. Wanna do something about it? Put a bikini on, and go have fun...stop worrying what anyone else thinks...i bet they're busy with enough other things to be bothered about you and the implications of the skin you show.
And for gender confirmation, i am a man. And an Indian.
First of all, where do you get off making these statements? What do you even mean by being an Indian who has never lived in India?
ReplyDeleteSecondly, enough with the generalisation. Indians are not judgmental about bodies. People are. These people are not specific to India.
Thirdly, if you want to wear a bikini, wear one. If you don't, don't. If you want to rant about not being able to wear it, please go ahead. Do not make an excuse like "I hate to say this but Indians are quite judgemental in nature, about a person’s character."
India is a populous country (1.21 billion strong) with a vast spread of people, some with roots in narrow-minded feelings of supremacy. Some, more civilised than our "British invaders". You call yourself an Indian. So, what point do you really want to put across with "Indians this...", "Indians that...". Please DO NOT GENERALISE!
If your discomfort with a bikini is a product of the fear of 'what people might think of your character' or 'Just in case some future proposal is hindered', you have no business blaming Indians or 'the Indian mentality'.
Good Rant .. m sharing :)
ReplyDelete